33 Week Appointment!

Went in today and everything is looking good! BP was 122/80, had ZERO weight gain since last time, and little V is measuring perfectly! Her heartbeat was a nice and steady 148 :) The issues? Well I still have ketones in my urine, so Dr. Finn actually told me to eat and drink MORE, LOL...as if I don't eat all.day.long. :) V is still breech, so we scheduled an u/s for July 21 to get her position and size. If she still hasn't turned then we have to go in for a c-section since the office doesn't do breech deliveries. Poo on that. I've resigned myself to the fact that I might have to have a c-section, and I'm really not upset about it or anything....but the recovery will really suck. But it is what it is right? No use stressing about it...she could still turn!
I will have to take a new belly pic soon......

Nursery is moving on up!

First off, Happy Fathers Day to all the Daddy's out there! :)
We had a wonderful brunch at the casino this morning which was ssooooo yummy, then Livi and I were sent out shopping so Mike could have some uninterrupted Daddy time. So since he had to twist my arm to go shopping *snicker* Livi and I had an AWESOME time at the mall! She helped me go through the bins at Gymboree (left with a billion and one socks and tights, yikes!), then search through the racks at Gap (great deals!) and even helped pick out Mike a new 360 game (Prototype)...then we made a stop at Build-A-Bear! She really loved the experience and we left with a Hello Kitty, adequately named "Hello Kitty" lol. It was a GREAT day and a GREAT relaxing night at home with Mike! :heart:

Yesterday we dug out the crib and other furniture from the attic and put it together in V's room. YAY! I washed all the bedding we have...and realized that we don't have a crib skirt. Boo on that. So no pics until I can get one, lol. Plus I have to spend some time finishing the painting on her letters so we can hang them as well. I know we have time, but I want it all to be perfect for our new little one. The carpet was installed this past Friday and it's like walking on clouds!! Now we just need to get the new doors and it'll be perfect. We are all SO excited to meet our little V!

Sometimes I don't feel all sunshine and roses

I wish my Mom wouldn't drink.
I wish my sister would grow up and mature.
I wish my brother would want to live.
I wish my Dad and I could talk.
I wish my Grandmother was able to love unconditionally.
I wish I knew how many Aunts and Uncles I had.

Argh.

Growing up we never really had a close knit family. We (meaning Mom, Dad, myself, Mike, and Em) would groan and moan anytime we had to go somewhere family oriented to spend the time with people that we would see once, maybe twice a year. But they were family so we "loved" them. Well now that us kids are all grown up (age, not maturity...) it's basically the same kind of mentality. We're not close. At all. It's sad to admit that I talk to acquaintances more then I talk to my Mom. We live 20 minutes away from my parents, yet see them few and far between. My Mom drives me crazy. She drinks so a problem lies there. Our family is full of secrets between one another, yet everyone knows everything, without knowing a thing. When listing emergency contacts on forms, is there something wrong that my family members never even occur for me to write? Mike is extremely close to his brothers, and for that I am jealous. I wish I was remotely close to mine. I haven't talked to my brother in months, and that last time was no longer then a 4 minute conversation. I see my sister fairly often, but that's because our kids play...we never have any deep, meaningful conversations. It's sad. I love my Dad to death, but I would never even feel comfortable calling him up to say hello. Fathers Day and his Birthday are more awkward then fun.

I want closeness for Livi and the baby. I want a loving family for us to surround ourselves with. When there's an issue in our family, money is thrown at it and it's expected to go away. Money replaces love in most instances, and tears are rarely seen. Gossip comes from opening up to someone, and truths are always twisted and thrown back. Problems are overlooked, and celebrations thrown for the wrong reasons. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around Grandparents that want to see their Grandkids, and want to take them for the night....it's so foreign to me. Sad. I feel bad for Livi. I feel bad for us.

Ramblings

Not being able to sleep at night leaves alot of time to lay back and go over everything that is stressing your mind. I listen to Mike snoring, praying that we can easily grow old together....I watch Livi as she sleeps, praying that another seizure doesn't disrupt the night again....I focus on the baby coming and stress about what isn't done yet....I go over in my mind the work day, what could have been done differently and how to positively motivate people to do more....I think of the house projects, each piling up with no time to get everything done....etc. It's uncomfortable for me to lay anymore, so I spend most of the "sleep" I do get tossing and turning. Then I lay there, waiting for my alarm clock to go off so I can finally have an excuse to get out of bed and start getting ready for the day. I drag myself to work, stop at Tim Hortons for my caffeine quickstart to the day, and zombie through the motions until I can leave to go home. I anxiously await the time that I can slide underneath the covers and shut my eyes, yet when that time comes, I feel no relief. I'll get my token "nap" for an hour, two if it's a good night, then the insomnia awakes me again for round 2. I've found that I'll go through these for several days, but it's usually on the 4th day of less then 2 hours of sleep a night that my body just shuts down. Like completely, totally, shuts down. I'll fall asleep whereever I am....there's really no stopping it....it just sort of happens. And it'll be good sleep....the kind that you don't want to wake up from. So I look forward to those days...those nights....that I can grasp onto sleep and throw all my worries aside.

Some of everything

We went out on the boat last night and boy did Livi have a BLAST!!! She would not stop smiling ear to ear :) She loved the water splashing on her face, going super fast, watching the sunset, etc. She is a true water baby!! Now the weather just needs to get a bit warmer so we can get out the water skis and inner tube :) Here are some pics...






Today we're heading back up to Lowe's and hopefully picking out flooring to put in the bathroom. Now we have flooring picked out already that we absolutely love, but we changed our plans on the bathroom so we're holding out to get the nice ceramic tile we want until we get the new tub installed. So we just want to get some cheap flooring that will suffice until then. With all the other projects, and the new baby coming we figured it's better just to get any flooring in there right now then continue to live in the state of disrepair like we have been, lol. So I hope we find something good, buy it, and install it today. Overambitious? Maybe. But here's to hoping atleast!

Also we're getting Livi her pink sand she's been wanting today. Yes, pink sand. We emptied her sand box early spring thinking we're past the sand age, but nope, she saw the pink sand a few weeks ago and has constantly asked for it since, lol. I was going to stop and grab it yesterday, but I know there's no way I'd be able to move it, and since Mike was at an all day golf outing, I figured waiting until today would be the same thing as leaving it in the trunk. So off to pink sand world we go!