Saturday, April 17, 2010

So here it goes

Diet. Exercise. Eat right. Go to the gym. Yadda.Yadda.Yadda.

And I have. And I'm doing pretty well if I do say so myself. I've lost 20 pounds which is 'real' weight loss...something that I've had to work at to get rid of. I've been going to the gym in the mornings at 5 (yeah....), and doing what I can at night after work. And I've gone down a full size....almost can start squeezing myself into the one after as a matter of fact. :) But it's starting to not be 'fun' anymore. I feel the crack starting, which to me, as in the past, is where I start "shutting down" as far as everything goes. And I'm trying so very very hard to stay on track... to up my progress actually. But I don't know if it's working. And it's consumed me. I think about food constantly. Not just what I can or can't eat, but food in general. I think about what I should be doing, and what I'm not. I think about sizes, and numbers, and carbs. It makes me want to scream. I'm happy with where I am have gotten, and I'm happy thinking about where I can go. I've seen others overcome their weight and get to where they want to, and OMG does that make me so happy! Both for them and for myself...I CAN do it! I CAN be the smaller size that I used to be...I CAN push my body to become what I want it to be! It's so much more motivating then they probably realize (Kim, you in particular!) to see what determination can do.

I may falter, and I may sway, but I'm going down the right path. Mike is constantly telling me how much he can really notice about my weight loss, and for the first time, I had 2 customers comment on how well I look and have I lost weight? It feels FANTASTIC!

So I will tredge along, and push myself harder. I will make this happen and I will make this become fun again. I will not take credit for making this change on my own, but rather thank those who have made me see what I can do. :)