Sometimes you just have to force it....

January 1, 2013 I started a "new me" diet. Watched what I ate....went to the gym....had a more positive attitude....took some pride in my appearance. And it really worked. I lost about 30 pounds, and actually FELT GOOD about myself last summer. Now I still had more weight to lose, but overall, I was happy. Slowly going into fall/winter, I lost my resolve. I don't know why, I don't know exactly what triggered it, if anything, but I started faltering. I had days at a time where I didn't get to the gym....I had 2 "cheat" meals a week, then 3....I moved out of the clothes I was wearing comfortably because they were getting a bit too snug.... I failed myself. I let myself slide out of all of the progress I had made, and started right back making bad decisions, and putting myself down. I made excuses to myself, and others, and each day became easier to let myself go again. By Thanksgiving I was 15 pounds up, by Christmas over 20....I started 2014 at almost where I started the prior year. It was depressing, frustrating, infuriating, etc. Yet I still ate. I would have a day or two - maybe three! - in a row where I'd force myself to go to the gym, and I ate 'ok'. Then I'd break, and have a three day stretch of consuming about 2000+ calories, which zero gym time. I quit going to my favorite Zumba class because it made me short of breath again. I was failing. Again. Tonight ends it. I have to get back to where I was mentally, physically, and emotionally. I feel horrible about myself. I hate how I feel, and only I can change it. I pulled out workout clothes for tomorrow morning, and I'm going to make myself get up with Mike, and do 30 minutes of cardio before getting ready for the day, and hope that it starts to set the tone of the day for me. I'm not going to look back, and I'm not looking too far into the future...I'm going to take it one day at a time, an hour at a time if I have to. I'm going to force myself to change, and take charge of who I am. I can do this.

To new adventures

Ok, so it's been awhile. A very, very long while. 2013 was a great year for us, and so much happened, both good and bad, that's it's hard to draft it all down. Livi started 3rd grade last fall, and she's loving it! She's still at Montessori, and has made some really good friends over this school year. Next year she'll be at the North Campus, so she's enjoying being the oldest grade for the time being :) Harborcare closed, and Violet has been doing private Preschool at Joan's house. It's so nice that it's super close to us, but I really feel that she's not getting the same 'education' that Livi got when she was enrolled at Harborcare. But Violet absolutely loves it, and Joan really loves her, and it's going well. Mike and I also celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary last September! TEN YEARS! It's weird looking back, and thinking that it was so long ago, and how young we were. So much has changed in the past 10 years, and we've grown so much closer than I could ever think possible. I really can't imagine my life without him :heart:  
But the biggest day of 2013?!
September 18, 2013 (Monday) :Dave and Dad called Mike into the office early on, and said that they needed him to stay after work and have a meeting....that they were sending the office people home early so there wouldn't be anyone around when they talked...but wouldn't say anything else. You know how many things go through your mind all day long? We went from thinking they were going to promote him with a raise, to they were firing him, to them retiring, to something medically wrong with someone, etc.... Talk about a very stressful day! So I left call night early, grabbed the girls, and just waited (im)patiently for his meeting to end. The list of possibilities were endless, and never in a million years did we guess what the true meeting was about.....that they were looking to retire soon....and sell the company....to HIM.!!! How do you process something that HUGE?! He said he wanted to talk to me about it, and maybe let things absorb a bit. They left it at that, but when he went in Tuesday, Eric (business banker for PNC) was sitting there waiting, and Dave got the ball rolling. Wow. So to make an extremely long story short.....the next several months were just a tad bit stressful. We decided it would be pretty awesome to offer Steve a joint partnership in the business, and to say that he was speechless is such an understatement! It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, so how can you possibly say no? :) And so from that date in September to yesterday....Friday, January 17, 2014 is such a whirl. Yesterday it ended. We all met (Mike, myself, Steve, Andi, Dad, Dave, Erie Bank BB, John Spoden (lawyer) downtown to sign the papers.(we ended up going with Erie Bank since they had the best rates & terms) Mike and Steve (and Dad & Dave) were there from about 10-4, and Andi and I had to go from about 12-1 to sign as the wives, ha! It was pretty awesome, but totally a little awkward as well for me.... I mean, here is my DAD, and Dave who I grew up with...and we're BUYING the company that they started from them. It was just....weird. So yeah. As of 4pm yesterday, we own a business. We OWN a BUSINESS. We're hoping to pay off the 2.72 million (yes, I didn't stutter) in the next 5 years, and start benefitting from it then. It doesn't even sound like a long time, so I can imagine how fast it will go. Steve put in his notice yesterday after the signing, and told his staff this morning. It's so scary, exciting, overwhelming, intimidating, etc, etc. There isn't any one word that can describe the feelings on this, but it's definitely something completely unexpected, and we feel completely blessed to have this opportunity for our future.
2014 will certainly rock! :)