This week’s ADM Blog Hop:
What is the best advice you received but never thought you’d use?
When I was growing up, I tended to be a follower. I hated leading, I hated being the first to try something, I hated putting myself out there so as the saying goes. It was just so much easier following. Liking what someone else liked, and having the opinion of a friend just seemed so much of an easy road to take.
"Make your own decisions, not somebody else's"
That's what my Mom would say to me.
But, I didn't.
I started smoking in high school because my friends did. I went to a college that friends were going to. I picked my major in college because that was what my family wanted. I stayed with a boyfriend because my friends liked him. I chopped my hair because my roommate did. Went on a pretty intense diet because someone else did.
Yeah.
It wasn't until I met Mike and started dating him that I started following my Mom's advice.
"Make your own decisions" she'd say,
"Not somebody else's".
And I listened.
I went back to listening to dance music because I liked it. My friends were still listening to rap, but you know what I decided? I didn't like rap. In fact I hated it. That was my first step.
It seems stupid, it does. Even writing it out, I'm thinking to myself what a weak, ignorant person I use to be. I didn't think for myself, live for myself, or do for myself.
"Make your own decisions"
Mike and I moved to Cleveland shortly after dating for a job opportunity for him. Everyone was against us because we didn't know each other that long....my family huffed and puffed about it, my friends were having the serious talks with us. But I did what my heart told me to....and I made my own decision.
My Dad quit talking to us for about 4 months. Not a word, a peep, a glance....nadda. We were "playing house" after all by not being married. But I made my own decision and not somebody else's.
We obviously got married a few years later, then decided to start a family, and had Livi. (no drugs involved...another big to-do about that!) And of course by having children, there's that plethora of unwanted advice on how to "properly" raise a child.
I would think the biggest decision we made was to not vaccinate. Oh boy did I open a huge can of worms with that one. So I started to cave. But then Mike brought me back to why I made that decision in the first place. And maybe my decisions on not to vaccinate don't make sense to the majority of people, and you know what? I don't care. It was my decision to make. But...I think that's another whole blog topic right there ;)
We ended up moving back to Erie. Another HUGE decision that we had to make and stick with it. We both loved our jobs in Cleveland. Like, really really loved them. (I actually stayed 2 weeks more in Cleveland while Mike was in Erie because I didn't want to leave. Sick, huh? Ha!) But we knew that moving was the best decision for us as a family. Our decision....nobody else's.
I could go on and on about different occurrences throughout the years, but I won't bore you anymore ;) But I still keep my Mom's advice there. I try to instill in Olivia and Violet what was instilled in me over the years. And I know it won't sink in immediately...we all have our growing to do...but it's there. And I'll be there for them the way my parents were there for me.
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