Parenting Kraus style

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This week's topic: What aspects of your parents' parenting do you want to continue in parenting your own kid(s)?

Well it seems almost like a loaded question to me....given that I am one of the most relaxed parents that I know! I feel like I parent differently in so many aspects of parenthood then my parents....but a lot I have carried over as well......

....and I don't mean to offend anyone....everyone has different ways that work.... :)

First let me start off by saying that my parents were strict. Very. Gosh I wasn't allowed to go to the mall with my friends until after high school! And some of this went over well growing up....I learned to absolutely love school, and *tooting my own horn* never saw anything less then an A my entire k-12 career. I had perfect attendance, and was on many academic activities...i.e honor society, debate team, model u.n., etc. LOVED school. Plus I had a job that I worked at every day after school, and on the weekends. But it never seemed to be a challenge to me....it was just expected. Now don't get me wrong...I was never the 'head in the books-no fun-boring' girl. Yes I was pretty naive up until I started working....then wow did I learn a few things! But I regress.....high school was fantastic, loved every minute of it! But then I went off to college several hours away....and BOOM! My world was turned upside down. I drank. I smoked. I had sex. I would lie. I would skip class. Etc. My perfect 4.0 GPA went straight down the toilet....to an astounding 0.86 GPA! Yes, I typed correctly. Here I was a Biology Pre-Med student with all the potential in the world, bringing a .86 GPA my first semester at college. (My parents still do not know to this day, oops!) Looking back on it, I can understand more of what it was that happened. (and not totally blaming my parents mind you, but these are the facts.....)
Things that we are going to change.....
1. My parents were uber strict. Uber....like completely ridiculous. I had a 9:00 curfew up until I was a senior....then it went to 10. (With the exception of work that was, then my Dad would be there waiting for me once the restaurant closed.)

2. We never talked about sex. Ever. So it was a taboo thing for me to test out and see what it was all about. Is it sad that the first time I ever went to the obgyn was my 2nd year of college, with my best friend, and I just cried the entire time terrified my parents would find out?? I went on the pill for about 3 months.....then stopped because I would have had to go back and get a refill. Nope, not happening. The next time I went back was about 6 years later when I was pregnant with Livi. Nice huh?

3. Favoritism. My brother is the middle child out of the 3 of us, and it was completely apparent in everything that we did, that he was favored by my Dad. I could go on forever quoting examples and different stories, but I'll spare everyone. But lets just say it was pretty bad.

I think when I went to college and could do my own thing, I exploded into new territories. Being so tightly reined in growing up never taught me how to be on my own. I wanted to experience everything that I haven't yet, and took it to the extreme. It took a llllooonnnnngggg time to make that GPA up let me tell you.....

So back to the girls. I won't be like that. I'm so afraid of sheltering them I was that I think I take things too far the other way sometimes.

* Livi has never had a bedtime. She goes to bed when she wants. Of course this has always been by 10pm, so maybe that's why it hasn't been an issue. But I'm not going to be strict about it. Not now at least. If we do tell her to go to bed, she does. Not a huge deal. But I won't be the parent that makes my child go to bed by 8pm.

* We have an open relationship. I want my girls to be able to come to me with anything that's on their mind, and any questions that they might have. I'm not dumb, I know they'll probably be having sex, and drinking while they're young. But I want them informed. I want them to feel like they can come to Mike or I and talk about birth control.

* We give them opportunities. This is one thing that I'm partly taking from my parents....let them be in activities. I was in so many things growing up and I loved it! And so far Livi has been in dance (hated it), and now does soccer, gymnastics, and swimming. And I suppose you can count piano...but I'm teaching her that at home so it doesn't really feel like an outside activity I suppose.

* We're not medicators. There are so so so many people that rush to the Dr for every little thing. Then they get their prescriptions and drug up their child. No way here. And you can tell if you are one of 'these' people because right now your thinking, 'well they had :insert random diagnosis: ' Yes they did. Because that's what you wanted the Dr. to tell you. Your child probably has a cold. And yes, they can get better without medicine. Maybe it was growing up with a Mom that was a nurse....but come on people! People medicate WAY too often anymore. There are several other alternatives out there....

* My kids don't act up in public. I'm sure everyone can relate to being out, and there's a kid misbehaving/crying/etc....and the parents just sit there. Do you not hear your child?? Or you have those that just threaten....over and over and over again. You know what?? Until you follow through on that, they are never going to believe you, and they are going to just keep on acting out. Drives.me.crazy. For this reason alone we don't like going out with certain couples.....

* My kids had (and will continue to have) bumpers in their cribs, blankets to stay warm, and be forward facing in their car seat before they hit middle school. (haha) If bumpers were so freakin dangerous, they would quit making them. If blankets killed every child out there that used them, they would ban them. And for car seats....well, I could go on for awhile. But simply put, look back at yourself growing up...did you even have a car seat. I didn't. And you know what? I survived. And so did millions of others. (and yes we use car seats....but they are not stuck rear facing for years upon years....)

I want my girls to grow up and be ready for the world. I want them to have parents that they can go to, and know that they are loved unconditionally. I want them to be happy and successful, and know that they can do anything that they put their mind to.