Merry Christmas!!!

Christmas was fabulous this year!! We hosted Christmas Eve dinner for my side of the family and after all the stress and money that went into it, it turned out really really nice. Mike made crab cakes and spinach balls for appetizers, along with a various assortment of chips and dips, then had a 15 pound fresh ham for the main course, with mashed potatoes, homemade mac & cheese, corn, asparagus, rolls, cauliflower, etc. And the one thing that I did (yes I HATE cooking!) was an ice cream dessert that was just fab! :) Everyone left late, then we cleaned up, put out the reindeer food and Santa key, ice cream dessert and milk for Santa, and went to bed.

The girls slept in until around 8 which was really nice! I went in when I heard V stirring, and while I was getting her Livi got up as well. We got Daddy up and went to see what Santa brought. Instead of getting into everything now, I will post a toy review post, (lol) to keep the memories of what *I* thought was great vs. what *Livi* did. But we had a great morning, and I made a sausage quiche/breakfast casserole and Monkey bread. YUM!!! After breakfast, we all got ready and went to Mom and Dad's by noon to open gifts in preparation for 'dinner' at 1:3o. Again, the kids were spoiled! :) Dinner was fabulous, and the wine was completely awesome HA! We were there for awhile, while the guys played cards and the girls played with the kids. We ended up leaving there, and going to Steve and Andi's to do more gifts, then onto Aunt Elaine's house we went! Grandma K LOVED seeing the girls and the house was more full this year with Violet and Konnor there. :) Livi and Sami had a lot of fun running around and playing with the other cousins and Mike and I enjoyed everyone's company. :)

It was a great great day, but boy was it exhausting!! We got home and both girls crashed fast. The best Christmas yet!!

I am thankful...

I am so thankful for Mike and my girls....
I am so thankful for a loving and supportive family....
I am so thankful for our health....
I am so thankful for good jobs....
I am so thankful for a roof over our heads and cars to drive...
I am so thankful for everything that the Lord has done, and has given me...

A lot has happened this past month that has really caused me to question what I am doing with my life, and how I spend it every single day. My Godmother, Aunt Roe, was diagnosed with cancer. She had breast cancer 16 years ago and beat it. Has been in for checkups once a year since and it hasn't come back. Until now. She went in because she had a lump on her chest...after an xray they saw a 'spot' on her ribs. Sent her for more tests. She is ridden with cancer throughout her ribs, back, and lungs. Stage 4. They are still going to try chemo, but honestly, I know it's not good. Having a nurse for a Mom has opened my eyes to what the Dr's mean to say when they actually are talking. And I know the diagnosis. I've talked to Mike continuously about it, I've tried not talking about it. I've tried thinking about all the good memories, but then I think of the ones that won't be there. It has made me think about my life, and what I want or need to do in it. It makes me beyond sad.

A week ago a co-workers Grandson past away. He just turned 4 months old. What do you say? How do you act? I hugged V and Livi extra long that night, and every night after.

There's still so much crap surrounding Mike's brother. It makes me so sad at the situation that is going on, and I feel so completely helpless in everything. I want to make it better and I can't. He's on my mind a lot, and I feel guilty when I try not to think about him. I hate myself for trying....

A friends' wife is selling baked goods to help pay the bills that keep slipping farther and farther behind. They both work, but don't make enough to live. Their house might be taken away and they don't have money for food. I feel so sad that their story is the norm anymore and that it doesn't seem to be getting any better....

One of my best friends little boy is going in for his 6th surgery. He just turned 3. He was born a preemie and has been going through so much these past 3 years and he's such a fighter. He is a twin, but his brother past away at 1 month old.

Etc.

Etc.

Etc.


There's been so much going on lately I feel like I am drowning. I need to come up for air but I just feel so suffocated. I feel so lucky to have Mike around me, and to have healthy girls, etc....but I also feel guilty for the things that I do have. I'm scared about the upcoming months and the things that are to come, and there are days that I don't want to get up and think about everything that is going on, but you can't always control what enters your mind. I have been scrapbooking like mad trying to get done all of the ones that I have started over the years. I feel like I just need to get them done right now. I need to preserve the memories that I have from the past several years, and writing them all down lets me relive them, one day at a time. It's a good feeling, and something that I enjoy.

I am hoping that November ends quickly, and that December starts a more positive month, and new, more positive memories are made.

I am thankful for my family.

3 Months Old!

I've been slacking on the ole blog.....and I promise to update soon! But for now here's V's 3 month pic with Big Puppy :D

Well my decision is made...

....I am starting back at work on the 13th. WOW does that seem close now! I was fully intending to take off until the middle/end of November, but I talked to Emily, and she's going to help watch the girls during the week, which takes a big load off of my mind! I will be going back so I can bank some more money for the uncoming "Big 5" Livi Birthday, and Christmas, and V will be with someone who loves her and will take great care of her. :) She'll be in daycare too, but not full time, which really helps my heart. And, doing this before with Livi, I know the first week or two will be the hardest, but then we'll all fall into the routine that so many of us Mothers have to do. And by going back the 13th, it's only a 4 day work week, so YAY for that! I still think about my decision....a lot....like probably twice an hour on average. !! BUT I know rationally thinking, that it's the best decision, since I'm starting to really go stir-crazy at home anyhow. Lol.

It's been a great weekend for my scrapbooking and that makes me happy! I got a few more pages done, and am starting on V's first year scrapbook as well as finishing up my pregnancy one of her. I have to order some more pics for it though so it'll be waiting for them to come in the mail :) But it was really nice being able to sit down and get some creative juices going again, even between V's feedings and awake time. But atleast with Mike home it made it easier :)

Wordless Wednesday

Just some pics

Here are some pics from the Peach Festival and the Falls from last weekend...

The girls watching the parade....waiting for candy...

running out to grab all that they can!
the cutestl little dancing girls!
Princesses!
Mommy and Livi at the Falls

First family pic at the Falls

Rolling Over so soon???

So last night at my parents house we were playing with V (tummy time) and she actually rolled over and started laughing! My Mom and I just looked at each other dumbfounded, and put her back on her belly....and she did it again! We called the guys in thinking maybe we're going out of our mind, and she rolled over a THIRD time! Of course we wanted to keep seeing it but she was getting a bit upset at this point so we stopped torturing the poor child, lol, but I was shocked. And she rolled over this morning too so it wasn't like a fluke-type thing right? I looked in Livis' baby book and she never rolled over until 4 months! V is 5 WEEKS old!?!

I actually MISS work???? wth....

Ok. I know I've always said that I'm not "stay at home mom" material....and I've always thought that maybe I wasn't being 100% honest with myself. Afterall, it was never a true possibility that I would be able to stay home all the time and be comfortable on Mike's income alone. But ever since we started talking about having baby #2, Mike's brought it up. On how nice it would be for me to stay home, take care of the kids, etc. Be that "soccer mom" lol. And throughout my pregnancy we talked about it, and talked about it, and I convinced myself that ok, I would go on maternity leave, finish it out, go back, and put my 2 weeks in. It's something that got me through a lot of rough patches at work, and I became excited about it. Once I got home from the hospital with V, I had a BLAST! I LOVED staying home with the girls! We went out to socialize, visited with people, had dinner prepared, house clean, etc. I was so excited that I was going to be able to stay home full time. Well fast forward to this week....that joy is gone, lol. My patience is depleted, my motivation for keeping the house clean is gone, and I actually MISS being at work. I miss the responsibilities I had there, the people, the adult conversations, the feeling of really being important. (so, ok, being a sahm is very important...but there's not appreciation, lol) So now I'm torn.
I can't imagine leaving V at daycare....it tears at my heart just thinking about it. But then I try to be rational about it....I know she'll be fine there....Livi will be there....we know the ladies there....work will make me more sane....etc. So I *know* it's a good decision to go back to work, I just can't commit to it. ::sigh::
Everytime I talk to them at work, there's that question, 'when are you coming back?' At first I said the end of September, then I moved it to the first week of October, then just the other day, I said the middle of October. Ugh. When I was talking to Mike about it last night, I think I decided on October 5. But looking at the calendar that just seems way too soon! V will barely be 6 weeks old at that point....can I really take her to the daycare when she's still so young? I don't have to go back until the middle of November....should I just wait until then? I'm actually afraid of going back. Wth? I'm afraid that I won't like it when I get back there, I'm afraid that it'll be way to hard to leave V, I'm afraid that we'll have to switch to formula full time (one of the MAIN reasons that I want to wait it out...), I'm afraid that I'll regret it. We're losing our Manager to another office, so chances are when I go back, he'll be gone. Which leaves me with a whole new set of responsibilities and jobs that I just don't know if I want right now.
Well I guess I have to go in to the office today to talk about a few things, and we'll see how that all goes. Ugh. Who would have thought that I would miss that place????......

V's one month checkup

No shots today, yay!! V did excellent today, and so did Livi :) The entire time the Dr was poking and proding her she just looked around, smiled, and was super content! Never cried at all, it was awesome! She's doing perfectly well, and the little oinker is now up to 9 lbs 5 oz! She's measuring 21 1/4 inches, which is only 1/4 inch longer then when she was born. Short and chubby, lol!

Afterwards we went up to Target to get Livi a new gymnastic leotard, and of course the one that I had in mind was sold out of all the smalls. Arrrr! So I bought an XS in hopes of squeezing her into it, lol, and then a S in a blue one. Of course after trying them on, I'm more sold on the smaller one (sparkly butterfly print "biketard")and it's just the right size now. So I want to keep it, but I'm afraid after about 2-3 weeks it's going to be too small. ::sigh:: And because I'm anal retentive on most things...I found a pic of it online...... and the blue one, LOLOLOL

One Month Old!

Where does the time go??? It really feels like yesterday that we were bringing V home from the hospital, and she's now a month old. !?! Well we jumped on the ADM bandwagon and are taking monthly pics with a big stuffed animal, lol. In this case, Livi loaned "Big Puppy" for the pics. Notice the head control already?? She's insane with it and has been holding up her head for about a week already. Wow

People are too anal anymore

I think people and their parenting have just become way to freakin anal anymore. Mike and I are extremely relaxed with the girls, always have been since Livi was born. I didn't spend my time refusing to give Livi a blanket when it was cold, or how the bumpers on her crib were going to somehow jump out at night and suffocate her. I didn't care if she watched tv, I didn't sanitize bottles and binkies every.single.time they left her mouth. I fed her mashed potatoes at a few weeks old and gave up formula well before that magical time of a year. She was allowed to play in sand, and in dirt, and fall down. She's never had the flu shot (never will), ate peanut butter early on, had formula for several months, and slept on her belly. (**GASP**)
One would probably be surprised on how she has made it so long into life.....

People take things to the upmost extremes anymore....can't do this until a year....can't do that until 18 months....can't do this until they are 2. Is there a magical thing that happens when they hit that particular milestone?? On the eve of that day does a sudden change come over them?? Seriously....am I completely missing something?? I get crazed when hearing the question "When can I give my child a blanket? Crib bumpers? Cow's milk?" People have been raising kids for centuries...I know my parents didn't even have car seats for us, and yet the world is populated with billions of people that have survived being able to drink milk before 1 year.

Livi is almost 5 and you know what? She's incredible. She's extremely polite, she behaves in public, and she's healthy.
::end vent::

Ahhhh September!

Yay for September! It's my favorite month of the year....which is probably why it's our wedding anniversary month too :) (September 20th!! 6 years!) AND it's when all the pumpkin flavors come out....like the pumpkin spice frap at Starbucks...can we say WONDERFUL???
V's hearing test today went wonderful! I wasn't really sure where we were going in Hamot, but everyone that I ran across was so friendly and helpful. :) It's things like that that make me like Hamot more and more. But V slept great while they administered it, and I was so happy that all is well. Go V!
We got our package from Gap today of a bunch of things that I forgot I ordered, lol...it was like Christmas! I forgot about all the wonderful things that I ordered :) There were 5 pairs of jeans for Livi, 2 for V, scarves, hats, shirts, onesies, socks, etc. YAY. Livi's wearing her one sweater and coat around the house now she loves it so much. Go me!
Here's a pic of the little one :P

Gymnastics...

Tonight was Livi's first day (night?) of gymnastics and she was SO excited! And ok, I'll admit it, I was too....I've always wanted to be in gymnastics....it just never worked out that way. ;) Anyhow, Natalie put Gaby in it as well, and the girls just had a blast! I was really impressed with how Livi did, and how much she really enjoyed it! She went right into the gym, and did great. Natalie sat out in the waiting area, playing with V, watching the girls. Afterwards we went to DQ (and yes, I RESISTED!!! GO ME!), and when we got home, I even hauled my butt to the gym. Yes, believe it, lol.
V is 3 weeks old already, wow, wow, wow! Tomorrow is her hearing test for her right ear, and I'm really hoping and praying that everything is fine with it. The nurses didn't seem too concerned with it, so I'm hoping that it was just the fluid, and everything is fine now.

Just pics!

These were taken yesterday at Portrait Innovations. LOVE them!

One week old...

Ok, so technically we're one day past the one week mark, but hey, who's counting, lol. Violet is doing awesome, and Livi is doing amazingly wonderful with her! We're still having nursing issues, so I am continuing to pump, and we are using formula to supplement. I'm much more upset about this then I ever thought I would be though. It sucks. I just keep telling myself that thousands of kids are raised on formula every year and they are fine (lol) but I guess it never crossed my mind that V wouldn't be a nurser. We had her follow up appt yesterday for her weight, and she's doing much much better! (Born at 7 lbs 15 oz; left hospital at 7 lbs 4.5 oz; on Saturday had a home nurse come over and she was only 7 lbs 1.5 oz. We needed to get weight on her!) Her new weight at the Dr's was 7 lb 10 oz, go V! Last night she even slept 4.5 hours straight, yay! But pumping sucks. Really really sucks. I keep trying the nursing thing, and she latches, but only for a second or two, then roots again. This continues until she just gives up and cries. :( But we keep trying. And Livi is so awesome with her :heart: She loves to hold her, change her, feed her, etc. She is so in love with her, and she's the one that gets V to smile most of the time. It's adorable.

Today is the day.....

It is a little before 2pm.....2 hours before I'll be laying in the hospital getting induced. WOW! Mike is a nervous wreck about it, lol, but surprisingly I've been pretty calm. I guess my time will come though, I'm sure of it. But I've been in a lot of pain today with baby V being so low..it's like bone on bone pain, ouch! And she is constantly trying to lay sideways so I look like I swallowed a rather large bone heehee. So I am ecstatic to go and have her come! SO Excited!!!!! I'm really hoping the cervadil works wonders and she comes out tonight :) Mike is on his way home now, we have to go and drop Livi off at Nana's, then head on down to the hospital.
Wish us luck!!!

Hate this weather

Yes I understand it's August, but this weather is unbearable!!! It's SO hot and muggy I just want to melt into a huge Shell puddle! Steve and Mike went golfing today while I watched the girls, and then we're going over to swim this afternoon. Yay for cool waters!!

Still here.....

Ugh. Last day of July. I thought for sure we would have little V home by now....not going into August still pregnant. And the kicker is that for the past few days I have felt terrific!...like completely and utterly good. My swelling has gone down, my heartburn just about went away completely, my back quit hurting, my hips stopped aching, and I've been sleeping through the nights. It's SO wierd!! But to counteract that, Vi has been more active then I ever would have though possible at this stage! It's actually painful how much she is moving around in there, lol. People at work even comment on how my belly just flops all around as she's kicking and squirming, and dancing around, lol. It gets pretty uncomfortable after a while....

38 Week Appt

Another week down, lol. I met with Dr. Weibel today and he is so incredibly nice! My bp was a little up (130/80) and I gained one pound from last week (up 27 total).I was completely surprised (and excited!) that I didn't have an internal today....I've been expecting one every week now with nothing. LOL. But he did say that next week there would be one, yuck. But hopefully we won't have to wait that long. :) I really am hoping that little Vi comes tomorrow! Tomorrow was Mike's Mom's birthday and it would be so insanely awesome (yes I used those words together!) for her and Vi to share a birthday. :heart: So here is my planned day....wake up and go to car dealership at 10:45 for car appraisal. Leave with new suv. Go out to lunch with Livi while Mike goes to dentist to get tooth pulled at 3:30. Around 4pm contractions can start, and we can get to the hospital around 6ish. Have baby somewhere around 10pm. Go to bed, and wake up refreshed with a new little one. :) Sound like a good plan?? I thought so too!.....

Ugh I am SO uncomfortable anymore! My feet started really swelling this past Thursday/Friday, and yesterday when I woke up, I had the pitted edema all the way up my right shin :( My feet are so swollen, my baby toe on the right foot actually CRACKED and was bleeding!! They hurt so bad, and it doesn't matter if I put them up or not, they don't get any better no matter what I do. Today my back has really been bothering me, and my belly actually feels like it's going to rip open, or fall off...lol. I'm hoping that this means that little Vi is going to come this week...I would LOVE for her to come Thursday the 30th...that was Mike's Mom's birthday and I think it would be awesome for them to share that! I have a Dr's appt on Wednesday, and I'm sure if my BP goes up again (usually it's 120/80....last Wed it was 134/81) and my swelling is still horrible (don't see it going away....) maybe she'll just send me to the hospital then :)
Here's the belly.....it's from a week ago, but I have yet to take one for this week...

Boom Over the Bay! 4th of July

It was awesome being so close to both the fireworks, and the Brig Niagara! Just a few pics though since once it got dark it was firework time!

Erie shoreline...we look like we could be city! LOL

Livi's first fish!

Well I guess I'm a little late in posting about this, but what else is new?? LOL. We went out on the boat for the 4th of July and it was awesome being so close to the fireworks in the Bay! Livi and Mason absolutely loved it and were so excited being out there. And while we waited for them to begin, we fished a little. Well, ok, "I" didn't fish, but Nana was helping Livi and Pap was with Mase. And don't ya know....Livi caught a fish!! She was SO excited about it and is still telling everyone about it :) We didn't keep it since we didn't catch anymore then that one (good fishermen we are!) but we are definitely going to be out there a lot this summer....perch....mmmmmmmmmmm!!!

Getting the minnows out

Livi loved the bucket of "tiny Nemos"....

35 Week Appt!

I had my 35 week appt yesterday with the hottest Dr I've ever met! He was gorgeous and super sweet! LOL. Luckily it wasn't an internal exam week :P But he was really nice which was wonderful since my last meeting with Dr. Finn wasn't so great. But everything is looking great, but baby is still breech. On our u/s on the 21st if she's still sitting that way, the c-section will be scheduled, and he said that they won't let me go past 39 weeks....so end of JULY! WOW!!! It's so scary that it's so close now!

Stretch marks are not fair

Ugh. I barely got any stretchmarks when I was pregnant with Livi....so I guess I was naive to go into this pregnancy assuming (hoping?) for the same. Nope. They are steadily growing, and not only are they uglier then ever, but they itch and hurt. It's that burning, aching, itching feeling that keeps me in pain. Ugh. Even Mike has commented on how painful they look....oh yeah, they do. Sucky. How is it that some women get through multiple pregnancies without a trace of a mark, then others just get marred?? And to think that I still have 5 more weeks to go...I know it's going to get much worse before it gets better. Blech.

33 Week Appointment!

Went in today and everything is looking good! BP was 122/80, had ZERO weight gain since last time, and little V is measuring perfectly! Her heartbeat was a nice and steady 148 :) The issues? Well I still have ketones in my urine, so Dr. Finn actually told me to eat and drink MORE, LOL...as if I don't eat all.day.long. :) V is still breech, so we scheduled an u/s for July 21 to get her position and size. If she still hasn't turned then we have to go in for a c-section since the office doesn't do breech deliveries. Poo on that. I've resigned myself to the fact that I might have to have a c-section, and I'm really not upset about it or anything....but the recovery will really suck. But it is what it is right? No use stressing about it...she could still turn!
I will have to take a new belly pic soon......

Nursery is moving on up!

First off, Happy Fathers Day to all the Daddy's out there! :)
We had a wonderful brunch at the casino this morning which was ssooooo yummy, then Livi and I were sent out shopping so Mike could have some uninterrupted Daddy time. So since he had to twist my arm to go shopping *snicker* Livi and I had an AWESOME time at the mall! She helped me go through the bins at Gymboree (left with a billion and one socks and tights, yikes!), then search through the racks at Gap (great deals!) and even helped pick out Mike a new 360 game (Prototype)...then we made a stop at Build-A-Bear! She really loved the experience and we left with a Hello Kitty, adequately named "Hello Kitty" lol. It was a GREAT day and a GREAT relaxing night at home with Mike! :heart:

Yesterday we dug out the crib and other furniture from the attic and put it together in V's room. YAY! I washed all the bedding we have...and realized that we don't have a crib skirt. Boo on that. So no pics until I can get one, lol. Plus I have to spend some time finishing the painting on her letters so we can hang them as well. I know we have time, but I want it all to be perfect for our new little one. The carpet was installed this past Friday and it's like walking on clouds!! Now we just need to get the new doors and it'll be perfect. We are all SO excited to meet our little V!

Sometimes I don't feel all sunshine and roses

I wish my Mom wouldn't drink.
I wish my sister would grow up and mature.
I wish my brother would want to live.
I wish my Dad and I could talk.
I wish my Grandmother was able to love unconditionally.
I wish I knew how many Aunts and Uncles I had.

Argh.

Growing up we never really had a close knit family. We (meaning Mom, Dad, myself, Mike, and Em) would groan and moan anytime we had to go somewhere family oriented to spend the time with people that we would see once, maybe twice a year. But they were family so we "loved" them. Well now that us kids are all grown up (age, not maturity...) it's basically the same kind of mentality. We're not close. At all. It's sad to admit that I talk to acquaintances more then I talk to my Mom. We live 20 minutes away from my parents, yet see them few and far between. My Mom drives me crazy. She drinks so a problem lies there. Our family is full of secrets between one another, yet everyone knows everything, without knowing a thing. When listing emergency contacts on forms, is there something wrong that my family members never even occur for me to write? Mike is extremely close to his brothers, and for that I am jealous. I wish I was remotely close to mine. I haven't talked to my brother in months, and that last time was no longer then a 4 minute conversation. I see my sister fairly often, but that's because our kids play...we never have any deep, meaningful conversations. It's sad. I love my Dad to death, but I would never even feel comfortable calling him up to say hello. Fathers Day and his Birthday are more awkward then fun.

I want closeness for Livi and the baby. I want a loving family for us to surround ourselves with. When there's an issue in our family, money is thrown at it and it's expected to go away. Money replaces love in most instances, and tears are rarely seen. Gossip comes from opening up to someone, and truths are always twisted and thrown back. Problems are overlooked, and celebrations thrown for the wrong reasons. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around Grandparents that want to see their Grandkids, and want to take them for the night....it's so foreign to me. Sad. I feel bad for Livi. I feel bad for us.

Ramblings

Not being able to sleep at night leaves alot of time to lay back and go over everything that is stressing your mind. I listen to Mike snoring, praying that we can easily grow old together....I watch Livi as she sleeps, praying that another seizure doesn't disrupt the night again....I focus on the baby coming and stress about what isn't done yet....I go over in my mind the work day, what could have been done differently and how to positively motivate people to do more....I think of the house projects, each piling up with no time to get everything done....etc. It's uncomfortable for me to lay anymore, so I spend most of the "sleep" I do get tossing and turning. Then I lay there, waiting for my alarm clock to go off so I can finally have an excuse to get out of bed and start getting ready for the day. I drag myself to work, stop at Tim Hortons for my caffeine quickstart to the day, and zombie through the motions until I can leave to go home. I anxiously await the time that I can slide underneath the covers and shut my eyes, yet when that time comes, I feel no relief. I'll get my token "nap" for an hour, two if it's a good night, then the insomnia awakes me again for round 2. I've found that I'll go through these for several days, but it's usually on the 4th day of less then 2 hours of sleep a night that my body just shuts down. Like completely, totally, shuts down. I'll fall asleep whereever I am....there's really no stopping it....it just sort of happens. And it'll be good sleep....the kind that you don't want to wake up from. So I look forward to those days...those nights....that I can grasp onto sleep and throw all my worries aside.

Some of everything

We went out on the boat last night and boy did Livi have a BLAST!!! She would not stop smiling ear to ear :) She loved the water splashing on her face, going super fast, watching the sunset, etc. She is a true water baby!! Now the weather just needs to get a bit warmer so we can get out the water skis and inner tube :) Here are some pics...






Today we're heading back up to Lowe's and hopefully picking out flooring to put in the bathroom. Now we have flooring picked out already that we absolutely love, but we changed our plans on the bathroom so we're holding out to get the nice ceramic tile we want until we get the new tub installed. So we just want to get some cheap flooring that will suffice until then. With all the other projects, and the new baby coming we figured it's better just to get any flooring in there right now then continue to live in the state of disrepair like we have been, lol. So I hope we find something good, buy it, and install it today. Overambitious? Maybe. But here's to hoping atleast!

Also we're getting Livi her pink sand she's been wanting today. Yes, pink sand. We emptied her sand box early spring thinking we're past the sand age, but nope, she saw the pink sand a few weeks ago and has constantly asked for it since, lol. I was going to stop and grab it yesterday, but I know there's no way I'd be able to move it, and since Mike was at an all day golf outing, I figured waiting until today would be the same thing as leaving it in the trunk. So off to pink sand world we go!

She's a mover!

We picked the carpet for little V's room last night and we're hoping that they can come and install it this upcoming Tuesday since Mom has off and can be here. Not that I would mind them coming while we're at work, but I think Roxy would have a coronary if strangers came into the house while we weren't here. So if it's a day Mom has to work, we're taking Roxy over there for the time being to save everyone's sanity :) But we got such a GREAT deal on the carpet I'm just so excited!!! We wanted a light grey for the room, since the walls are a really light blue and we painted the trim white, so that's what we went looking for. We walked in thinking we'll just pick the carpet we like, and if it's too expensive, we'll ask if they have a similar style for less. Well the carpet we found was $42.95 a square yard! YIKES. So we were talking to the sales guy and just our luck....they had a remnant of that same carpet that would just fit (within an inch!)....it was just really really light beige vs. the grey we wanted. Fine by me!!! By getting the remnant we saved almost $250.00!!!! So SWEET deal on that!! The carpet is so plush and soft I want to sleep on it....I love love LOVE it!

And speaking of our little one....
I think our little Violet takes great pleasure in kicking the crap out of me all day, lol. She is currently feet down, head up, so it constantly feels like she is trying to stick her foot out and kick at my pelvic bones. Not to mention the moving of her head and arms all throughout my ribs....quite uncomfortable at times. ;P I love love LOVE feeling her kick and squirm around, but lately it seems to be 24 hours a day this child is awake, lol. Let's hope she realizes night time is bedtime soon :)

Ultrasound!

Yay for a fantastic ultrasound!!! The cyst that Violet had is completely gone which is so wonderful! I asked Mary if Vi is indeed a girl, and she's fairly certain she is....and it took alot of work to get that much, lol. I had to lay on my stomach, lay on my side, she was squishing my belly all over, etc....little Violet was hiding her face under my ribs, and her hands between her legs. So we didn't get any u/s pics today - boo! - but that's ok because we'll meet her soon!
:heart:

Another Ultrasound, yay!!

Tomorrow I have another u/s and I can't wait!!!! It's super early (7:30am!) which is great because I can't wait! :) And we're ssslllllooowwwwlllyyy getting Violet's room ready! It's all painted and waiting for furniture....we just have to get the carpet installed, and soon! Hopefully it'll happen by the middle of next week....although if it can be in by Friday of this week I would be beyond ecstatic! Then we can assemble the crib, and start decorating. I'm so giddy with excitement of meeting her, yet scared to death of having two kids. TWO KIDS!! This pregnancy has flown by so fast...it's hard to believe that I only have 9 weeks left...W.O.W. Although this pregnancy hasn't been as pleasant as it was when I was pregnant with Livi since I've had a bunch of issues with my iron and blood pressures, I'm still thoroughly enjoying it. And Mike is a complete blessing throughout everything...he's even handling my bitching in stride, lol. I think he's completely amazed at how big my belly is getting....it seems like it grows so much bigger every single day....it's crazy.
So wish us luck tomorrow that everything looks great (they are following up on a small spot they saw on the heart. They aren't concerned about it though, so we haven't been) and little Vi looks terrific! I will be posting the pics tomorrow :)

B*tch*ng

Some people just need smacked. Seriously. Quit your attention seeking ways and get over yourself. You know the people I'm talking about...the ones who have it worse then everyone no matter the circumstance. The ones whose headaches throb harder, whose job is tougher, whose pain is deeper. It makes me want to smack them. Do you think that they know people are frusterated with them? Do you think that they know that people are tired of them? Rolling their eyes behind their backs? Do you think that they know? Do they care?

It makes me want to scream.

Some people just need smacked....

More neurology....

So after Livi's THIRD seizure this past week on vaca (while on the PA turnpike....and it was a bad one...) we scheduled a face-to-face meeting with Dr. Hershkowicz today at 2:15. Mike and I have heavily discussed this past week about putting Livi on some meds since they are still happening, and was prepared for Dr. H suggesting them at the appt today....and were totally shocked when she thought that it was better to hold off on them. After going into every seizure episode again, and exploring all of the different reasons that could be behind them, she is thinking that she has a disorder (sorry, can't remember the name of it for the life of me!) where basically she'll 'outgrow' them by age 5. It's something in 1-5 yr olds where they are extremely sensitive to changes and their brain will just freeze up and seize. And since Livi doesn't display any signs or symptoms of having seizures during the day, the Dr. is pretty much ruling out epilepsy. Yay! BUT if she hits age 5 and is still having them, then it's time to put her on Keppra (sp?) since it will most likely indicate that she has a seizure disorder. :( So it looks like we continue on with no sleep at night, and Livi still in our bed. We explained our theory on why they happen to her, and she tends to agree that it could be the cause.....that Livi just overheats. So we have to get her a spritzer bottle and everytime it's hot out, or she's getting really warm, we have to spritz her body down with the cold water so the heat dissapates from her body.
The second set of great news ::insert sarcasm:: is that Dr. H is leaving August 31 to Seattle Washington :( So for now we are sticking with her nurse practioner, Kim, who has been with her for the past 10 years. We have a follow up with her in December, and I pray that we don't have to go in before then.
It weighs so heavily on my heart that this is happening to my sweet Angel. It feels like everytime I close my eyes I can picture her seizing and I start crying. I can't sleep at night, I can't relax during the day, and I can never let her out of my sight when her eyes are closed. The stress of something happening is a constant pressure that I feel is getting so heavy. I don't think I have slept more then an hour at a time since this past seizure, and I don't see anymore sleep in my near future. I drag all day at work, and all night at home. I can't focus on anything anymore out of pure exhaustion, and have become more lightheaded and sick because of it.
::sigh::

It's been awhile....

But our new daughter has a name! :)

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Violet Jalena Kraus

Jalena means 'Helen' in Czech so it's a nice tribute to Grandma Wagner. Mom of course bawled when we told her, but in a completely wonderful way. :heart: We're SO EXCITED to meet her!

It's a....

GIRL!!!

We were SO shocked!! I would have sworn that our little bean was a boy...lol. Livi was SO excited to hear she is going to have a baby sister! Yay for Team Pink!! But Baby Girl is doing great...heartbeat was 153, and she weighs about 12 oz. already. :) And Erin (the u/s tech) measured her little feet for us...they are an inch long!! :heart:

19 Week appt!

My appt today went wonderfully! I gained 1 pound since last visit, yay! My blood pressure was 120/72 so it's up some from last time (hmm....wonder why???) but that's good. Bean's heartbeat was 156, yay!! My 2nd trimester bloodwork came back excellet, and all is well. 9 days until the big u/s!!!!!!!

Another EEG today...

Well this past Wednesday morning (5:45am) Livi had another seizure :( It wasn't nearly as bad as the first one (August 9) and Mike and I remained so much more calm then I would have thought. The seizure itself lasted only a minute, but it took her about 45 minutes to 'come to' and that's the period of time that I started losing it....I'm always SO afraid that the blank eyes, limp limbs, and drooling are things that are just going to stay. :( So that was Wednesday....

Thursday we woke (well we were up all night....) to Livi throwing up and having a slight fever. It lasted all.day.long. She slept on the couch all day, just waking up to throw up, then went back to sleep. She wouldn't eat or drink anything at all throughout the day which was really worrying us...

Friday we woke up with her feeling a bit better...but having a huge red, blotchy, itchy rash covering most of her body. We took her in to Dr. Yakish at 11:40am where we found out that she has a severe case of strep throat, and an ear infection. So now she's on amocicilin (sp??) Still didn't eat much at.all, and drank maybe a glass of liquid today.

Fast forward through the weekend where not too much happened....

Today (Monday) Livi had her sleep deprived EEG at 11am today. Well she woke up yesterday at around 7am, and so between then and 11am today she was allowed 3 hours of sleep. Yes, 3 hours for a 28 hour period of time. !! So that meant that between 7am and 11am, I had about 2 hours or horrible "sleep" where I might have gotten half of that. In the meantime, I had a Dr appt at 8:15am today too (more on that in the next post) Livi did AWESOME at the EEG today, fell right asleep and was excellent. We got home a little after 1pm, and she slept right through until almost 5pm when I woke her up. I think I napped from around 2:30 - 4:30 so I feel a bit better. :) Poor Mike had to go into work after her appt today so he's dragging pretty bad right now....
We should have the results in the next day or so!

16 Weeks 3 Days

Wow is this pregnancy just flying by!! I can't believe that I'm this far already! Mike and I went yesterday to Motherhood Maternity to see if I could find some jeans. And we did! Another surprise moment, lol. I got the new Magic Belly or whatever they call it, and it is beyond comfortable. :) Two thumbs up! I might actually have to go back and get another pair, yay.

February already??

Ok, I'm slacking on blogging again....::sigh::
We went to the North Country Brewing Company yesterday with Jaime, Paul, PJ, Trey, Dave, and Molly and it was DE-LISH! I have honestly not been that thrilled with a meal in such a long time! It's a drive....think almost 2 hours...but SO worth it! And then to top that off, we stopped at Grove City Outlets on the way home, YAY!! So I got to go into Gap, and Mike helped me pick some things out for Livi. :) It was such a fantastic day!!!

New Baby pics!

I went for another u/s today and left with new pictures of little Bean! :) It was so awesome watching the baby jump all around, wave, kick, etc!! What a difference a few weeks make!

I hate Kayne West.

Ever since the whole bashing Bush, I really can't stand him. I've never liked his music, so it has never been a big issue. Until now. Now I hate him because I actually like his new song (Love Lockdown) and I hate it that I like it. ::shakes head:: It's very frusterating switching stations when there's a song on that I like to listen to...but forbid myself from liking it all at the same time. Am I just mentally insane? ;)

HEARTBEAT!

So....

TODAY I HEARD BEAN'S HEARTBEAT FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!!!!!

:)
I'm SO excited!!! I heard it first this morning, and then lost it when I told Mike about it. But then this afternoon I found it again and just sat and listened to it for what seemed like forever. :heart:

Just wanted to share!

Craziness!

So the day starts with a crazed madman running around on the westside with a rifel and scope (and military training to boot!) setting houses on fire. !!!! Oh, and it's around 26th behind Tops...with police baracades set up...on the block of Livi's daycare. !?!?!?!?! So long story short, I stayed home with Livi and Mason today...and let's just say my patience was gone an hour into it! All they did was fight and bicker all.day.long. UGH. Once Emily came and picked up Mason, Livi and I went upstairs to lay down for a nap....and that's when her freak out began. She cried for almost half an hour (27 minutes to be exact) about how she wants her Daddy. :( We called Mike at work, and that just made her worse. We finally fell asleep and she kept crying out in her sleep about him, and woke up crying and thrashing for him. Luckily he was home within 20 minutes of her waking up though.

I think I want a drink. Ok....I know I want a drink, I just can't have one. ::pouts:: But I think I'll settle for Roadhouse ribs. :)

Perfect weather!

We woke up and went to breakfast at our fav place....The Breakfast Place. Lol. They have the BEST pancakes around! On the way home Livi kept talking about playing outside...and it's the perfect day to do that! There's still a bit of snow on the ground, but it's really not too cold out...perfect for a winter playtime! So we got all bundled up and headed out. Even the dogs had a great time! Here's some pics from our fun day at home. :)

It's so nice when the wind isn't going crazy...the cold is almost tolerable! :)Livi loved swinging on the swings and the dogs love us being out there with them. And I think Livi will be a soccer star this summer as she LOVES kicking the ball around!

I love this!

Shop till you drop (your pants)by The Sarcastic Journalist

I started buying maternity clothes the second my pants felt a little tight. It didn’t matter that the reason they were tight was that I had just consumed a large meal; I was pregnant and needed an entire new wardrobe!
Only problem? All those large jeans belly panels aren’t meant for a 10 weeks pregnant woman that consumed an entire cake because “the baby needed it.”
Shopping at a maternity store before you’re really showing is somewhat embarrassing. It’s kind of like all those times I bought bridal magazines without a ring on my finger: You know most people think you’re just jumping the gun.
Every time I’d walk into one of those establishments, I’d try my best not to make eye contact with the women with big bellies. Even though, in theory, we belonged to the same club, it seemed they were a little more qualified to search for pants with belly panels than I.
But, what’s a girl to do? Invest in a nine-month supply of sweatpants? Walk around with my pants unbuttoned, just waiting for the day they fall down to my knees?
No, I’d buy my pants and try them on with the “fake belly” pillows they leave in the dressing rooms.
Just don’t ask me to model my new outfits outside for everyone to see.

Curtesy of The Sarcastic Journalist